What do you do when you feel life is moving too fast? How do you cope with the pressure of not being able to meet your expectations? A few weeks ago, I reached my breaking point. Here is my story of how I let things get out of control and literally break me into pieces. This is not a sad story, but a happy story of how I was able to eventually pick myself up and take control of my own life.
I knew I had reached my breaking point when I had lost interest of absolutely everything. It was almost as though someone or something had vacuumed away all my emotions. I didn’t feel like doing anything, going anywhere, eating anything or talking to anyone. I stayed in pajamas, in bed for 7 whole DAYS! I basically gave up.
Then on the 8th day, Selam and I talked on Skype. I guess she could tell that something was off about me that day, and she asked me a simple question; “How is your soul?” That one simple question was all it took to make me break down and cry like a baby. What seemed like a harmless coping mechanism of ignoring stress and situations that I wasn’t ready to deal with right when they were first handed to me, was what pushed me to my breaking point.
I knew that I alone wouldn’t be able to fix this. I knew that the only one who could fix this was God, but I hadn’t prayed in over a year. I was frightened to ask Him for help because I hadn’t talked to him in such a long time, and I didn’t even know where to start! “Please help me!”, were the words I started with. That was all it took. Believe me when I say that I am much better today! I know that fully recovering from my nervous breakdown is not something that will magically happen over night. Its going to take time and I am learning to take things one day at a time. The good thing about this experience though, is that it made in get in touch with my spiritual side. I cant speak for everyone, but I personally need hope. I need to believe that there is a great being out there who watches over me and wishes nothing more than peace and happiness for me.
Please don’t make the same mistake I made. Please don’t pile things up and expect them to somehow magically disappear (because they never do). Take life one day at a time. Life is beautiful! Our biggest failure is failing to appreciate the little things in life because we are too focused on winning the “big prize”
Some of my simple new rules:
1) Never allow yourself to sleep with unresolved issues.
2) Never look back at yesterday with “what ifs”.