Its been a week now since my return to Norway from West Chester, PA, and I have to admit that I am still a little sad. I guess this is what withdrawal feels like? I have been in the states for 10 months straight and it has been amazing! I cant even being to explain how much I have learned not only about living with other people and making friends with all sorts of background, but I have also learned a LOT about myself.
I have to admit that I have not always been kind. Growing up, I was a very mean child. I was mean to friends and even to my own family. But when I moved to Norway at the age of 13, I got a little taste of karma. For three years straight, I experienced bullying and racism. Long story short, after apologize to as many people I could get a hold of on Facebook, I promised myself to always be kind to others and to be considerate of others.
Only problem is that my guilt made me think its okay for people to take advantage of my kindness, which is NEVER okay. What I am trying to say is that I have finally mastered how to stand up for myself and not be a pushover while still being kind and considerate. It took me all these years but I finally realized that no one is going to respect me if I don’t respect myself. No one is going to know how I feel if I don’t speak up. And as selfish as this might sound, I have stopped being a people pleaser and am now working on myself.
Speaking of working on myself, I have always been confident in myself. I have never doubted myself as far as beauty is concerned, or at least thats what I thought. So on the 13th of February (two days before my 21st birthday), I went ahead and chopped my hair. I got a pixie cut with long side bangs and I loved it the first couple of days. About a week after I chopped off my hair, I felt really depressed. I missed my long curly hair terrible and the reaction that my friends and the people around had didn’t exactly help.
I hated myself for being such an impulsive person and hated my new look that I faked to love. Thats when it hit me that I am not that confident after all. I have been lying to myself all these years, pretending to be someone I am not! I was hiding behind my long hair pretending to be overly confident when really I knew nothing about myself besides the compliments I would get from people about my long curly hair.
Before and after picture of the day I chopped off my hair
As soon as I realized this, I made up my mind to work on myself and how I perceive myself. Its now been three months and I am happy that I chopped my hair. I am happy because chopping my hair off has been a reality check for me. It was forced me to see myself for who I really am, which is not someone I am proud of. I have now started on a new journey that I am pleased to share with the world. I am going natural! No more relaxers! I am going to redefine myself and this is the best time to do so – when I am the most vulnerable I have ever felt my whole entire life.
Here is a picture I found on Pinterest that I just had to share with you!
Anyone who knows me, knows how much I love making lists. Yes, I am a bit of a control freak 🙂 I can’t tell you the number of times friends and family have given me long lectures on the importance of “letting loose” and “having fun” once in a while. I can see where they are coming from, but here is the thing about me, I have a very specific list of goals and expectations for my life. And yes, sometimes, those very expectations have lead to disappointment. But that has never made me give up and loose hope on ever accomplishing my goals. Who I am today is not who I want to be. I want to be the best version of me, and that is my motivation, that is what gets me out of bed every morning.
As messed up as this might sound to many people, I believe that the only way I can accomplish my goals and turn my dreams into reality, is by being a bit of a control freak. Don’t get me wrong, I would NEVER try to control anyone else’s life, I don’t judge, and as long as people are happy and smiling doing what they do best, I have no business interfering.I am simply striving to be the best version of myself.
Having said that, here are my 2014 new year’s resolutions, in pictures.
In 2014, I will try my best to pray more and be a better Christian.
In 2014, I will smile more, and remember that I have a lot to be thankful for!
In 2014, I will make sure to read all the novels I already have, before ordering any more from Amazon.
In 2014, I will make an effort to be more outgoing and social.
After being a (failed) vegetarian for nearly 3 years, I have decided to transition to a pescetarian diet.
The past week has been insane! I moved to Moss exactly 9 days ago and so much has happened in 9 days! So far I have meet all my housemates, gotten acquainted with some students, classmates, some professors. Not to mention a full week of orientation and lots of activities!
I had taken some pictures of my room using my phone, but for some weird reason, word press wont let me upload them 😦 (I will try fixing the problem and uploading them on my next post.)
I know what you are all thinking. “Boring post and no pictures”. I apologize 🙂 As I mentioned earlier, this past week has been stressful and a lot has been happening at the same time. All my energy this week has been spent on registering for my courses, ordering books, and doing lots of research.
And of course, I woke up this morning with a stuffed noes and no voice. I always tend to get sick at the most inconvenient times 😦
Pictures and update coming soon 😀
First stop: Oslo arriving at 13:27
Next stop: Moss arriving at 14:42
2 more days!!
It is amazing how fast time flies! Sometimes I wish I had the power to stop time (just a little while) and enjoy all the little moments in life that I tend to take for granted.
Just a random picture 🙂
Here is how my weekend looked like
I finally finished packing in the morning at 06:00 am. I ended up with 2 large boxes, 1 small box, 1 big suitcase and 1 big training bag.
Thank God for vacuum storage bags!
Ignore the little brown bag. This picture needs to be updated 😀
I then had to go to work from 07:30 – 15:30
Saturday was my last day at Work (07:30 – 15:30). I had to stop by a sports store on my way home to buy myself a new pair of training shoes. I also had to make a quick stop at this really nice cafe in town and myself a can of Whittard Caramel Hot Chocolate.
My room is now empty, and I am not feeling very excited about leaving the place where I feel the most comfortable. There will be no more mother to cook me food and help me with my laundry 😥 I do love new adventures, but this adventure will be one that I can’t compare to any adventure that I have ever experienced. I have no idea whatsoever of what I should expect. All I can do right now is hope for the best!
I have to go back to work and return my work clothes and key card, buy some vitamin supplements from the pharmacy, pick my reading glasses and drive to the city to drop off my thing at the movers.
I will be taking the first train from Egersund to Oslo and then latter on to Moss.
Today is August the first which means that the countdown has officially began! There are exactly 12 days left until I move into my new apartment in Moss! My emotions today? Excited, nervous, happy, scared and overwhelmed.
I got this in the mail today…..
A packet with 13 documents about the welcome week schedule, the academic policies, financial policies, information about course registration, etc. This blue file just makes it all official.
Anyway…. I had my favorite dish (Pasta with green pesto) for lunch.
Right now I am enjoying some homemade swedish bread with a cup of green tea, and I am about to watch an episode of Dexter.